RPL Stands For Repeated Plot Line
by Mary Sue Hunter
Summary: Mary Sue has hit Hogwarts! She is annoying us all! There's going to be something here for all of the ships who wish to set sail.
1. Exchange Student Infatuate

This isn't against the rules, it's not that much different from a collection of poems or short stories. There is no way that you can take this story off and be in this website's rules.  
  
I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise, I would be drinking a margarita instead for typing in the cold. That's pathetic you know.  
  
**RPL Stands For Repeated Plot Line  
**  
First, a sample, containing a Harry Potter Mary Sue. This type is called: Exchange Student Infatuate  
  
Summary: I SUK AT SUMERIES SO SHUTUP & RED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
dracos luv.  
  
Draco had never seen a person so prety be4. She was standing at the side of the Hogwarts Express talking with Hermione. She flipped her silver hare, it shone so powerfully it blinded him 4 a second. He walked up quietly behind Hermione and said loudly, "What are u doing Mudblood? Trying 2 get in a good face change?" Hermione's face went red and she snapped at him, "Shut up or I'll hex u." "I'd like 2 see u try." He sneered. Why can't I be nice around this hottie? He thought, I've got 2 make a good 1st impression. He watched as Hermione stalked up the steps calling, "Come on, Emmerila Evans. Let's leave that jerk 2 his misery." Emmerila took a look at Draco(a/n droolz!!!!! I can't help it he's so HHHHHOOOOTTTT!), and was unable 2 move. He had a glistening white hair and complexion, and beautiful pail blue eyes, like moons. She wanted 2 faint. "Come on Emmerila! We'll be late!" Hermione's annoying voice cut threw her dream. Draco saw her take another quick glance back at her, and he fell in2 her beautiful sapphire eyes, he wanted 2 make out with her right there. He loved the sound of that name, Emmerila Evans. "Honestly, did u see that that creep had some dirt on his face? What were u staring at?" said Hermione once they were in the compartment. "O, nothing." And she held her mother's locket closely 2 her. It gave of a strange warmth, as if answering her hart's calls. But now, her heart had more than 1 answering. "I miss my mom so much. I wish she hadn't just disappeared." She sighed. "I'll go ask how long the train ride will take." She muttered, as she spotted the people that Hermione had talked about, her friends. "Okay, if u want 2 be alone, I'll let u." she watched as Emmerila left. Emmerila walked quickly down the hall with her head down not looking were she was going. Bump she walked right in2 Crabbe and Goyle. "Watch where u're going, dim-whit!" said Crabb, about 2 punch her. She was scared. "Stop!" shouted Malfoy.(a/n that hot hunk!) "What where u dufasses doing? Don't bother answering, just get out of my sight." He glared at them tell they left. "Are u OK?" He asked his face nearing hers. (a/n I'm gonna faint...) "Fine, I think." He slowly pulled her in2 a small compartment, and pulled the shades down."Good." And he took her in2 a passionate embrace. She melted in2 his arms, unable 2 resist him. Several hours later she left the compartment, and walked back 2 the compartment with Hermione and her friends in it. "What took u so long?" asked Hermione, noticing a few red blotches on her face. "Umm, nothing really. What are u doing?" she said, taking notice that Hermione and Ron were sharing the same chair. She levitated a glass of water over their heads, ready 2 turn it over, but Harry saw, and she turned beat red, and let the glass go back down. He stood up, and pulled her out of the compartment. "Do u know what u are?" he whispered 2 her face. She nodded, and he whispered quietly in2 her ear, "Make 1 wrong move, and I'll tell." And started 2 kiss her. (a/n I think he's HOT 2!)  
  
he he he he! Now both of them luv her! im so good at evil cliffies! review review review!  
  
This is a Harry Potter Mary Sue. A Mary Sue is a cliché expression of a female character.  
  
In this type of HP Mary Sues, they almost always end up going to the deepest with Draco on the first day. I know that we all love Tom Felton, but there are a few too many fan fictions about just that. This type of Mary Sue most often shows her face in crossovers or interactive stories (stories where other people submit characters).  
  
Does the above sample sound a lot like your fan fiction? If it does, then here are a few pointers to make it better, hopefully without losing a Draco Malfoy romance.  
  
**APPEARANCE**  
  
In most stories, the original character has a beautiful face, and you describe it a lot. Of course you thought, she has to be more beautiful than a Veela, her eyes must be something extra-ordinary, her skin perfectly flawless or else no one will fall in love with her. But realize, people just don't happen to be like that, 99.9% of the time, and most people fall in love anyways. Give her some faults. Pimples, warts, zits are perfectly acceptable on a main character. Instead of taking from the character, they add character. You can describe how she looks, not using mountains of adjectives, or broken up into the chapter. A solid sentence devoted to the character's appearance isn't a good thing unless it will be a plot point later. Then never describe it again. Limit yourself to that if you need to. Scenes and setting often give more to the story than the description of a pretty face.  
  
**HERITAGE**  
  
Often these original characters have a heritage that contains a Veela, Vampire, or something you thought up. Too many stories contain that, so why not make the witch a normal pure blood? Being a muggle-born is okay, just remember that Draco hates all muggle-borns, and if he knew, wouldn't go near her romantically.  
  
**NAME**  
  
In almost all RPL's her name is something exotic, and her last name is the same of one of the regular characters, mostly a "long forgotten relative" who's been finally found. Give her a regular name, something that wouldn't be an embarrassment to live with. Look at lists of most commonly used names, and chose a last name that's all over the place like, Adams or Johnson. Go through a phone book for unique ideas if you need to. To be a good character, she doesn't have to be related to one or any of the canon characters. Most readers will roll their eyes and pass over your story if they notice that your character is "Sabrina Potter" or something like that. (I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Harry Potter fan fiction character that actually had that name either. Don't use Sabrina or a name that sounds like it; you'll get more rolled eyes and people skipping your story.)  
  
**THE ROMANCE**  
  
In these stories, Draco Malfoy falls in love with her on first sight. Does that happen in real life? Really? Love takes a while to happen, remember that. Infatuation happens at first sight, not true love.  
  
**OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS**  
  
It is common practice to make Draco Malfoy suddenly become a Gryffindor. In fact, this is in every single Draco Malfoy romance I've read, and it drives me crazy. Draco Malfoy is very, VERY proud of his Slytherin-ness; he's not about to forsake that, no matter what. That also means that he would NEVER date a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, and most likely never date a Ravenclaw either. Also, take note that he has a steady girlfriend, a girl that he has been going out with/been best friends with ever since 2nd year, Pansy Parkenson. If you are going to replace Pansy Parkenson, you have to discredit her in his and his father's eyes. Just, please don't turn her into a slut. If she were a slut, Draco would never have hooked up with her in the first place. It would look bad on Draco's family name.  
  
**PAST**  
  
Why does this original character so often have a sad past? Why can't there be a happy past? Like, the character knows her family, no one close to her has died yet, and her father doesn't rape her every night? A sad past is perfectly fine; it doesn't have to be overly dramatic, and it is best to not introduce it in the beginning of the plot or in the first chapter. You'll feel more pity for a character that you already know.  
  
**UNNATURAL POWERS  
**  
I see this so often: she has a magical piece of jewelry, or weird magical blood, giving her unnatural powers. I know we all want our character to have something special about them, but what's wrong about a normal witch? (For example: the main character doesn't have to be the girl who can do focused magic without her wand, but could be her best friend who sees the monster that this power makes her friend when she uses it.) There are so many plots to be discovered in this area; do some brainstorming and run the ideas past others. The problem is that these stories have been picked over so many times in the one million Harry Potter fan fiction stories; it is almost impossible to find anything new or worthwhile to read, and even harder to write something new and worthwhile to read.  
  
**SPELLING SHORTCUTS**  
  
Words are replaced with "2", "4", and "u". Please, that type of writing is hard to read, and it isn't that much effort to type out words, try it!  
  
**COMMON GRAMMAR ERRORS**  
  
The most common one I see is this:  
  
"Hi." Said Ron.  
  
It should be:  
  
"Hi," said Ron.  
  
**FORMAT**  
  
FanFiction.Net's uploading these days is a little weird, I know. Now you must take the effort to double space between paragraphs. It isn't that hard, so you can take the time to do it. A story is really hard to read without spaces between the paragraphs; so most people will just skip over your story with out a second thought.  
  
**THE TITLE**  
  
When you make a title, make sure that you spell everything correctly and capitalize all the words except "the", "and", "of", "a", "an", and "or"(except if they are the first word of the title). Make the title relevant to your story. "Untitled" makes you look sloppy and uncreative.  
  
**SUMMARY**  
  
If you can't write a summary, then you probably can't write a story either. Use good grammar and spelling, and don't use Internet slang. It makes you look like you don't care what comes out of your keyboard. Give a brief description of the story's plot, leaving off at the climax of the story, making the scrolling past person want to read it.  
  
**AUTHOR NOTES**  
  
All right, we all know that you love Tom Felton, the fact that you are writing the fan fiction states that well enough. You don't have to tell us how much you're drooling right now over him, because we know. Just leave out the author notes in the middle of the sentences, and if you have to, tell us after the chapter is over.  
  
**DISCLAIMER**  
  
Like it or not, disclaimers are required. In the very least they are polite. So please write at the beginning of your story, before anything else, that you do not own the copyrights to Harry Potter. You can add a bit of humor to it as well, but don't get carried away. I've seen disclaimers longer that the chapter they were before. People would rather read your story than read you babbling about how you don't own the copyrights to Harry Potter.  
  
**REVIEWING EXCHANGE STUDENT INFATUATE  
**  
Maybe you don't write this type of story, or maybe you do and have just revised your story. Either way, you are out to look for this kind of story and flame it to the inch of its life. STOP. You're not accomplishing anything. This way the person will never ever think of changing their story or try to get better at writing. I've made a simple 3-step method to reviewing:  
  
#1. Start with a complement. If you can't find anything to complement you can say that you're trying to help, and tell the writer to continue to write.  
  
#2. As you read the story, jot down everything that was wrong, everything that bugged you. Make sure that you don't mock the writer as you do this. Spell-check what you've written after you're done with the chapter.  
  
#3. Re-write the beginning in the end. In simpler words: write the same things that you did in the beginning, just in different words.  
  
I know that I haven't been faithful to this, especially in my early days. Remember, flames (telling the author nothing except that you don't like the story) will get no one anywhere. It's very easy to snap in anger as you read someone spell "Hermione" as "Ermyownee" the third time. Use punching pillows, laugh at the writer's stupidity, or shout at your computer. Then point out the writer's mistakes and move on. Besides, the person probably won't take kindly to the fact that they made mistakes and someone else noticed, and they will probably send you flames and rants to bore you to death anyways. No need to be weighed down by the fact that you did something wrong first. 


	2. Not Another Teen Movie!

I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise, I would be drinking a margarita instead for typing in the cold. That's pathetic you know.  
  
**RPL Stands For Repeated Plot Line  
**  
This is a sample of "Not Another Teen Movie" Mary Sue RPL.  
  
Summary: I suk at sumeries. Not min don't sue!11!!  
  
hLp i nEeD a TittLe pLz  
  
Draco(a/n you no, that HOTTIE!!! i want him, he's all mine! HAHAHAHAH!) could date anee girl in the school, & get them 2 shag with him on he first night. He had done them all, all, except that dead hot Ravenclaw fifth year named Samerila. She was always by herself, she never spoke 2 anyone else, & sat all alone at meal times. She had beautiful chestnut waves that hung delicately over her slim shoulders. She had beautiful dark eyes, so deep they looked like the ocean could fit inside of them. She had prefect, flawless white skin. He watched her closely as always, her body hunched over her food, her slim figure secluded & alone. As always the morning brought the owl mail, & as always Draco received a large mass of sweets from his family, & a comm&ing note from his father, boring him 2 death with the lecture about upholding the Slytherin family honor. He watched her, & she received a letter, Draco noticed that this was the first letter she'd ever received, & watched her closely as she opened it with curiosity. After skimming through a few lines, she stood up, tears streaming from her face, & sprinted out, with her long beautiful hair streaming behind her like rivers of gold. Draco jumped up receiving bunch of stares from the other Sytherin's the table, & ran after her. He found her sobbing uncontrollably by the Quidditch fields. "What's the matter?" he asked, trying 2 look sorry 4 her, but failed, instead he was snearing. Why can't i be nice sounding 4 her? He thought. "Shut up!" She snapped at him, her tearstained face turned 2 him. "u'r hot when u'r all riled up like that." He said. Stupid me stupid me! He thought. i need 2 be tender & kind right now. it's now or never. "What would u care, u'r father's the one who probably did it." "Did what?" "Murdered my entire family!" God, she's hot even if she's crying her eyes out. Draco thought. "i'm sorry, did u get much of an inhairetanse?" "Get away from me! i bet it was u'r father!" "Wait! i'm sorry! Come back!" Samerila's POV Draco grabbed hold of Samerila's arm, in his powerful sixy grip. "Stop! Let go!" she cried. DACO'S POV she was so hot andso sezythat her words killed him. "Wait! Wait! i... i.. love u!" he called. Samies pov Samerila stopped, & turned around. "u what?" she stared in2 his beautiful stormy grey eyes, at his prefect pale face(a/ni wanna die rite now! He's so hot hot hot hot hot!!1), 4 the 1st time ever showed pity & love. "i love u." he said again, & drew her in2 a passionite kiss. "R u sure?" "Do u want me 2 show u?" "Yes, deeper." She whispered, & they slipped under the bleachers 2 be alone. After dinner had past, they finally realized that they had been out there 4 9 hours. After kissing 4 a few more minutes they said good buy, & went 2 their common rooms. When Samerila came in2 her common room, a crowd of girls surrounded her. "Who asked u out? Harry, Sean, or heaven forbid, Malfoy? Nah not Malfoy, that jerk wouldn't go near us, that hottie." "Actually, he did. "Omy gosh! R u serious?" "good 4 u girl!" Cho stomped out & slammed the door behind her.  
  
Wasn't that good! i did so good, Cho's jealous of her, what happen 2 her? Review rite noooo!!!!!111  
  
This is an example of "Not Another Teen Movie" RPL.  
  
This type has lots of similarities to Exchange Student Infatuate, and can be fixed, though it's much harder. In this type, Draco is a jock who's slept with every girl, and he's had his eye on someone from another house for a long time. She's always alone, and finds out something horrible has happened, and Draco lovingly takes her into his arms, and comforts her. This Mary Sue also likes to show up as Hermione and Ginny.  
  
**APPEARENCE  
**  
As in "Exchange Student Infatuate", the "Not Another Teen Movie" Mary Sue is perfectly beautiful, and makes Draco want to go the deepest on sight of her. But in this type, she is always overly dramatic and wimpy. Give her some faults, but give her a little spirit. James Bond girls don't exist, and neither does James Bond.  
  
**NAME**  
  
Once again, its usually something weird and unheard of. Give her a normally used name, one that you've seen used on someone like April or Jessica. It can be tricky to do, but you must create a name that sounds normal in order to make your character more realistic.  
  
**THE ROMANCE**  
  
Okay, you want a tragedy to happen, and Draco to come comfort her. Well, okay, that can be done, but why not do that after they have become boyfriend and girlfriend? It could strengthen their relationship and work in your favor then. Come up with your own plot though- most people wouldn't mind reading Draco romances if there were some difference their plot. The reason I'm writing these is because there is so little difference in the plots of Draco romance stories.  
  
**OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS**  
  
Once again, Draco would never EVER date someone who isn't a pureblood or Slytherin. Ravenclaw is a maybe, but it is incredibly unrealistic. Draco, like all Slytherin's, is often too proud of himself for his own good. Also, Draco isn't a player. Don't insult his "high prefect blood" like that. He's had one girlfriend in his entire life. To go dating around like a scallywag is a lowly thing in his mind, and Draco is proud not to be going about siring bastard sons. Think of the scandal and the shame that would be put on the Malfoy family! Draco would never risk his family name.  
  
**SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF FRIENDS**  
  
In this type of RPL, all of a sudden your character has millions of friends, when before she was sitting all alone all the time, secluded and sad. I know that you want to show off that your character has a hot boyfriend, but there can be other ways, or you don't have to show it at all, which is a better thing to do. This sudden appearance of friends to show off to shows that the author is placing herself in the character's place, one of the main characteristics of a Mary Sue.  
  
**PAST**  
  
Again, her past is often awful, with many dark secrets. You can have her to be the spoiled rich brat, with a pampered life. There's nothing wrong with that. Then the character could go on a journey to becoming a nice, unselfish person. Adding a terrible past can't make a great character on its own. In order for this element to be added in, your character must have a personality already. The audience must like and feel as though they know the character in order for the sad past to work effectively. You feel less pity for a random bum on the street than for your friend who tells you her father just got fired from his job.  
  
**SPELLING SHORTCUTS**  
  
Why do these strange shortcuts appear with such continual stubbornness? It makes the writing sound like you are in an incredible rush to get it out. Maybe you were typing these in your free time in computer class? I don't know, but it is very hard to read, and makes most not want to go through reading it. It may have a brilliant plot, and beautiful description, but no one will enjoy this because they are busy trying to decode what you've written, and normally will give up before finishing the chapter.  
  
**FORMAT**  
  
Every time a new person starts speaking, there is a new paragraph. You just have to deal with pushing the return key TWICE before starting a new paragraph, even if it is a great waste of your time.  
  
**POV OR, POINT OF VIEW**  
  
Changing point of view continually throughout a chapter is distracting, and takes away drastically from your story. Even if you're only changing the point of view from chapter to chapter, it still can be confusing to read. If the changing POV is a necessity, by all means keep it there. But making the reader shift back and forth from one character to another is anti- climatic. The reader spends more time remembering which character they are reading about than what is going on in the story.  
  
**THE TITLE**  
  
I'm not sure why I am bothering to mention this again. The first impression is the lasting impression. If you can't think up a title, it shows that you probably can't think up a story either. Also, capitalizing random letters in a title is one of the most annoying and difficult things to read. The goal of this is to gain attention I believe, but you're not going to get much positive attention this way. If you make it difficult to read, people are going to give up and move on.  
  
**SUMMARY**  
  
Never say that you are no good at making summaries, because the naughty little brat in us all giggles and says, "If they can't write a summary then they must not be able to write a story either!"  
  
**DISCLAIMERS**  
  
Need I mention this again? You need to have a disclaimer! A disclaimer is what makes this all legal! The place for a disclaimer is at the top of every chapter. Not in the summary, but in the story.  
  
**AUTHOR NOTES**  
  
AAAAAGGGGHHHHH! Just leave them out completely; we all know that you love Tom Felton, because we probably do to! If they are so necessary put them at the end of the chapter!  
  
**NOTES ON REVIEWING**  
  
So, you're a fan of a story. A lot of "good" reviews are no better than flames. These all are examples from stories I've reviewed:  
  
"i personally...LOVE IT!! please write more! i think hermione and draco are the ultimate couple!i love maloy! so sexy!lol"  
  
update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111  
  
These two reviews are normally made by fairly earnest fans- that are just too lazy to come up with anything to say, orthey are reviewing only because the story has a "ship" that the reader supports. These "shippers" do the most damage to our fandom, and have made the rest of the world look down on us and think of us as slobbering teenagers with sick fantasies. Most of the time, I get the impression that they haven't even looked at the story, and hate it when I get reviews like this.  
  
"I luv it!!please write more soon cant wait 2 read it!!read mine??  
  
This reviewer is self-advertising, the other great motive for reviewing. Most people don't come out and say it like this one did, but a great deal of the time it's an author who wants reviews. Really- most people get mad when you spam them, and they won't think to give you anything more than a flame.  
  
Have you written reviews like this? Reviews steeped in chat room slang to get others sick, that say nothing except that you (might) like the story? When I was new to FanFiction.Net I was guilty of all of these. As an author, I can say from experience -those long reviews that actually say something are more appreciated. If you find grammar/spelling mistakes, let the author know. If you spot a mistake in the plot let the author know. You can still tell the author that you like the story, and the author will probably feel special that people like the story so much that they are willing to do everything in their power to improve it. That is what a true fan here is. If you can't find any problems to point out, tell what you liked about the chapter, tell what you feel are the high points of the story that are holding you to it. This input is valuable to the writer.  
  
**ATTENTION BETA READERS! ATTENTION BETA READERS!  
**  
Do you want to be recommended in my bio? Find the planted grammar error(s) in the analysis, then e-mail me detailing where you found it(them). If you find the error(s) I will post your e-mail, user name, and any other notes that you want on my bio. Remember, the sample doesn't count!  
  
The rest of you might ask, "What's a beta reader?" A beta reader is like an editor. They read through your stories, fixing grammar and spelling errors and giving you opinions and tips on how to improve your plot. Even I have a beta reader, and believe me, they are a valuable part of becoming a respected writer. 


	3. Feisty Little Girl Pop Up

I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise, I would be drinking a margarita instead for typing in the cold. That's pathetic you know.  
  
**RPL Stands for Repeated Plot Line  
**  
A sample of "Feisty Little Girl Pop Up" Mary Sue RPL (watch out, there's a bit of "adult language" in this one.)  
  
Draco fals in luv w/ a punk!!! By Kasperlianna  
  
Draco was walking down the hall, all mad & angery because Crabbe and Goyle had been real jerks. He would get back at them some day. "They're so stupid, they should just jump off a cliff and see if I care." He muttered 2 himself. Then he spotted Kasperlianna, a whitch that came from America in there first year. She was now a prefect with him. She had close cropped bleached and colored bright pick hair, and a real cool spike bracelet, and sparkley nose ring, and a t-shirt that said "Bite me, and I'll bite back." She had prefect curves, that made Draco want her reall bad. She had spiked her hairand it smelled real nice "Watch it asshole!" She shouted at him, while she hurridly whipped some tears of of her face. She looked up at who she ran in2. Draco. "I hate u! u and ur fuking family! Get away from me! i hate u i hate u i hate u! u and volidimors!!" Then she realized that he was just standing there with a placid smile on his face. He was so hot dressed like this. He had on a tight fitting black T-shirt and black shiney leather pants ((A/N IM FAINTING RITE NOW!!! HE WOULD BE SO HOT THAT WAY! I WANNA KISS HIM AND SHA..... OPPSEY. I GOT CARRIED AWAY.))) Draco glared down at Kasperlianna, and she said, "sorry i ran in2 u." "i dont mind." Draco whispered, grabbing hold of her hand. AND HE KISSED ME!!! Oh, I mean HER. HE KISSED HER. He didn't care that she was a Gryfindore and he was a Slythindore, he just wanted her reall bad. "Why where u crying?" He asked kissing her up and down her neck. "i just got some bad news. My family..... my family..... their dead, and I am a Sasterraybos." "A Sasterraybos? I thought they died out years ago." "nope. My family has always been one of them, but we kept it hidden, so I didn't know tell just now." "Sorry about ur familiy babe." "Yeah me 2."They slipped off 2 a convieniant closet. They went 4 a walk in the Forrbidden Forest, and suddenly out of nowhere monsters jumped out and killed her. Lord Voldemort's laughter rang out of the trees surrounding them. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!111111111" shouted Dracocrying 4 the lost love of his life. "i loved u forever." And he lay there sobbing next 2 her tell the teachers found him dragged him of of her dead bodie.  
  
Poor Draco!!! i luv him so much, he is such a hotie!! Anyway, review! Review if u want more, i no u do!!  
  
This is an example of "Feisty Little Girl Pop Up" RPL. She also likes to take on Ginny's name. She is the tragic "punk". I know real punks, and they never would behave like this. They are quiet, friendly, and helpful. The in- your-face attitude only exists in Hollywood I'm afraid.  
  
**THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER**  
  
Like the others, she is UNBELIEVABLY beautiful, except she's normally a punk. She is not wearing the school uniform in the school, and funnily enough, neither is Draco. She always has "the prefect curves" which are found in many other types of Mary Sue. I couldn't count how many times I've seen that phrase in Draco Malfoy Romance. This type also has an overdoes of spirit, and in personality often starts as the opposite of "Not Another Teen Movie" Mary Sue, but then melts away into one. Sometimes she's a prefect or the Head Girl, but with an attitude like that, I wouldn't expect her to get any type of authority. If you must make her a punk, then please understand that at Hogwarts, they will most likely be wearing their uniforms most of the time. Draco would NEVER be seen in muggle clothes, EVER.  
  
**NAME**  
  
This type of Mary Sue's name is often something insanely complicated, the writers name or pen name, or something really simple but almost unheard of. What parents, in their right mind, would name their child "Kasperlianna"? Think of the torturous teasing the child would be forced to go through with that name! Try names like Samantha, Jodie, or Hannah. They're pretty but common, and wouldn't be an embarrassment to have.  
  
**THE PLOT**  
  
The plot normally is very simple in this type of RLP. The Original Character meets or runs into Draco while alone, often on the train or at the school. She resists his wondrous charms, and he can't resist hers. She mouths off at him, but always breaks down in the end, and confesses everything to a supportive and caring Draco Malfoy. Then she gets murdered; often by Voldemort, Draco's father, Draco himself, or un-know forces at work. Then Draco forever mourns for her, making him no longer want to be a Deatheater. I'm not sure there is a way to save this plot while leaving anything left of it.  
  
**OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS**  
  
Again we see that Draco is being a Gryffindor (Hufflepuff in this case), comforts the crying girl, and doesn't notice that she was insulting him. Please don't do that. It makes you wonder if the Sorting Hat is faulty or something. When Malfoy is insulted, he seeks for revenge, and does as much harm as possible. He also would never touch a Gryffindor, EVER. The only exception would be to punch one. I don't think that Draco would like to be around someone as pushy and nasty as he is.  
  
**THE TRAGEDY**  
  
Once again a tragedy happens to force the character into Draco's arms. Normally with this type, she had happy past, except for the child abuse at age three, and little details like that. These are pretty happy girls for the most part, except they are heavy-metal punks and hate the world for no apparent reason. There doesn't have to be a tragedy to drive those two together, because no one would ever be stupid enough to go crying on Draco's shoulder. He would spread the word of the tragedy all over the school, or get it printed in The Daily Prophet if he really hated the girl.  
  
**THE FORMAT AND SPELLING**  
  
Again, please use double spaces in our typing between paragraphs, and whenever a new person starts to talk, there's a new paragraph. Use complete words, and find a spell check somewhere; it proves to be very, VERY useful. Trust me on this.  
  
**AUTHOR NOTES**  
  
Leave them out till the end, and please keep them modest if you must have them in the middle of your story, most of the time they tell you things you really were better off not knowing. If the only thing worthwhile about your story is the author notes, then you need to seriously re-think writing.  
  
**RECEIVING CRITICISM**  
  
Alright, now that there is more people going out and reviewing with some sense, lets say that you have just received a review about two pages long pointing out errors in characterization, plot, and grammar. The response of most people seams to say that it is an insult. I guess people are thinking, "How dare they try to change MY work of art for their liking!" Some people put long author notes saying over and over that the story is theirs, and they can trash JKR's canon as much as they want. (Remember that you are writing FAN fiction. As a fan, it is your responsibility to follow the canon rules of the original author. If you are unwilling to follow these rules then this website isn't meant for you. Go to www.fictionpress.com.) Or they might send back flames that are almost unreadable. I have also been sent e-mails with language that sailors would blush at.  
  
The childishness of people amazes me. These two page reviews filled with advice aren't exactly easy to write. Often I have to dig out the books for references, it's almost like writing an essay. Please, have some respect for we who write these. Normally, there is a lot more work put into them then a chapter of a story. I've made an easy 4-step process to receiving criticism, which I use often.  
  
#1. Read it, and take a break. Go to the bathroom, get a glass of water so you can calm down and think over the criticism with a cool head. When you're angry, you loose about 80% of your logic. This step is really only for the people who've never taken criticism before. It becomes natural after a while. Remember, just because you got criticism doesn't mean that you aren't a good writer, it just means that you need to improve. This is something that all writers are always doing; even J. K. Rowling is doing this all the time.  
  
#2. Fix the easy parts first. Find all of the mentioned forgotten disclaimers, grammar, and spelling mistakes, and if you spot any more, fix those too.  
  
#3. Read through your story, and try to see the points on the plot that the reviewer has made. Don't be afraid to tear apart your own story. If one reviewer has found a problem in this part of your story, then there probably are other readers that feel that way too. Remember, a piece of writing is like a stage performance. Maybe there was only one person in the audience who threw a rotten tomato at you, but maybe the rest of the audience had run out of tomato.  
  
#4. Revise! You don't have to follow the criticism word for word in the changes that you make; just make the changes that you think will make your story better. Your story isn't set in stone; it will only be when you get it published, which is highly unlikely.  
  
#5. (Optional) You know, we who give constructive criticism love to get e-mails telling us how much you appreciate our help and being asked to check out your new and revised story. It makes us feel as though this fight for a mass of more creative and intelligent writers isn't useless and hopeless. Just think: we could be coaching you, the future J. K. Rowling! 


	4. Hopeless Horrible Hermione

I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise, I would be drinking a margarita instead for typing in the cold. That's pathetic you know.  
  
**RPL Stands for Repeated Plot Line**  
  
A sample of Hopeless Horrible Hermione RPL.  
  
Dracie fall 4 mionee.  
  
I am da evil authoress! Drao and Herm! Cum heer!! Draco:wat do u want us 2 do now? Hermieonee:yeh wat? Evil authoress:U2 gottna fall in luv! Draco & Hermieonee:but we alredy R! smooch kiissss! Evil authoress: cut it owt & get in2 mine storee!!  
  
Draco(a/n HES SO SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXYYYY I'M GONNA DIE RIGHT HERE & NOW.) looked around as he got off the bus. "where is that sexy hot Grifindore chick?" he was thinking. Then he saw her. She had grown sense he saw her, & was gained weight, in all the right places, giving her very sexy curves. Her frizzy hair had softened out in2 nice smooth curls. He opened his pocket, flicking back his prefect white hair, 4 her 2 see, & pulled his head boy letter out. That got her attention. "Y do U have 1 malfoy? (a/n HE'S THE HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT GUY) U'r 2 stupid 4 thinking." Then McGoonnacall walked over & said that they had 2 head over 2 there own secret rooms 4 head boy & girl. Hermione was thinking"omg he's so hot I want him so bad, his eyes r prefect silver, his face like a shining moon. He had a lean body, that was slightly muscular & had gottena bit of a tan durning the summer. He's so sexy. I love him. she thought. They went 2 there secret room & unpaked a bit. Hermione was pulling off her muggle clothes & putting on her robeds when malfoy walked in. she stood there in shock 4 a sec then he kissed her 4 a very long time. Then suddenly she thrust him away."We can't do this. U'r a deatheater. ""4 U I won't bee any more." Then they walked back 2 the great hall 2gether. They sat down at there tables. Crabbe said Y don't U ever stop looking at the grifindore table?" "shut up crabbe" malfoy said in his dream-like-state."what's Ur problem?" shouted goyle. R U going 2 disrespect slitheren?"I don't want 2 be 1 fuckin anymore he screamed 4 the entire hall. Hermione looked after him with sorrow in her prefect brown dreamy eyes."Y where U staring at Malfoy?" asked haryy & ron. Did U see his tears that stupid ugly brat." "don't kall him that!!!!!" hermionee yelled. & she ran away 2. Then she went 2 her room, & draco was lying on his bed with out his shirt ( a/n I'M DIEING WRITE NO, HE'S SO SEXXY!) he had scares all over his back. "Y do U have scares all over Ur back?" she whispered 2 him, & started 2 massaging it."my dad beet me.""that's so sad."she said. Then an owl came tapping on the whindow. It said: we're sory Hermione but Ur family was murdered. Then Draco got a letter saying 2 never get so close 2 a girl again. She was sad so she & draco slept in his bed but didn't sleep at all. "harder dragon, harder" she whispered. Then came quinditch. She told he would do real well because she loved him, & Harry hated her. Then she fainted, and draco (that HOT HUNK!) stopped the quinnich game to see if she as ok.  
  
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW CUSS U WANT MORE OFF THIS STORY, & MORE OFF MY DRACO! BUT HIS ALL MINE!!!11111111111  
  
**Translated by request  
**  
Title: Draco Malfoy Falls in Love With Hermione Granger  
  
I am the female author. Draco and Hermione will be in my story. Here they come to be a part of it!  
  
Draco says, "What do you want us to do now?"  
  
Hermione adds, "Yes, what are you going to have us do?  
  
The female author replies, "You two are going to fall in love in my story."  
  
Draco and Hermione say together, "But we already are in love!" Draco and Hermione start to make out in front of everyone.  
  
The female author shouts, "Stop making out with each other and become part of my story!"  
  
Draco (Author note: I am infatuated with this character, and I feel it is important enough to tell you now.) looked around as he got off the Hogwart's Express. "Where is the Gryffindor girl that I have sexual feelings for?" he was thinking. Then he saw the Gryffindor girl that he had sexual feelings for. She was now beautiful because she had gotten her breasts and butt enlarged and her frizzy hair straightened then curled under natural circumstances.  
  
Draco reached into his pocket, trying to make his love interest sexually notice him as he pulled his letter that notified him of being a Head Boy. His love interest noticed the letter and she said angrily, "How could you be a Head Boy Malfoy? (Author Note: I am still infatuated with this character.) I do not think you are smart enough to have received that honor."  
  
Then Professor Minerva McGonagall spotted Draco and Hermione and joined them. She declared that they would have secret rooms because they were Head boy and Head Girl, and they must go to them as soon as possible.  
  
Hermione was thinking, "Wow, I am feeling sexual attraction to Draco Malfoy's body, therefore I must be in love with him."  
  
Draco and Hermione walked to their secret rooms to unpack. Hermione took this chance to change from her Muggle clothes to her school uniform, and Draco Malfoy accidentally walked in while Hermione was half naked. Hermione was surprised by Draco. Draco's sexual desire for Hermione's body forced him to make out with her for a long time. Suddenly Hermione pushed Draco away. She pointed out that he was a Deatheater, and Draco said he wouldn't be a Deatheater anymore because he sexually desired Hermione's body.  
  
Time passed and Draco and Hermione walked back to the Great Hall. They joined their houses at their house's tables. Draco's friend Crabbe said to Draco, "I noticed that you are looking at the Gryffindor table."  
  
"Please stop bothering me Crabbe," Malfoy said in his dream-like-state.  
  
"Why are you acting strangely? You are getting me upset!" shouted Crabbe.  
  
"Are you making an opinion that is not acceptable to the Slytherin House?"  
  
"I an tired of being a Slytherin!" Draco shouted so everyone in the Great Hall could hear him.  
  
Hermione felt sorry for him. "I noticed that you were staring at Malfoy, Hermione. Why were you staring at him?" asked Harry Potter and Ron Weasley together. "He looked very funny."  
  
"Please do not show disrespect for Draco!" Hermione yelled loud enough for the every one in the Great Hall to hear. She ran back to her secret room because she was so upset.  
  
When Hermione came to her room she found Draco lying on his bed half naked (Author Note: I'm still infatuated with this character.) increasing her sexual desire for him. She noticed he had scars all over his back. "Why do you have scars all over your back?" she whispered to Draco, and started massaging Draco's back.  
  
"My father whipped me," Draco said  
  
"I feel sorry for you," Hermione said.  
  
An owl tapped on the window. The owl said, "Hermione, your family was murdered." Then Draco received a letter that said, "Never come close to Hermione again."  
  
Hermione was unhappy, so she and Draco had sex all night long.  
  
Time passed and Draco and Hermione went to a Quidditch game. Hermione told Draco he would do really well in the game because she felt sexual desire for him, and Harry Potter wouldn't have sex with her.  
  
Time passed, and Hermione fainted, and Draco (Author Note: I still am infatuated with this character.) stopped the Quidditch game to insure Hermione's safety.  
  
Please review because I am infatuated with the character Draco Malfoy. (Translator's Note: The translator is collapsing do to an immense amount of laughter. The translator says, "I'm sorry, the story makes fun of itself!")  
  
**MARY SUE MORPHING**- the Horrible Hopeless Hermione RPL.  
  
Sometimes Mary Sues try to hide under a canon character's name. For instance, look at what Hermione has become! She became an irrationally brainless slut. In this next section, we look at the things to avoid while trying to make this canon romance.  
  
**HERMIONE'S OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS**  
  
Of all of the self respecting Hogwarts girls, why do so many chose Hermione? Pity her! She's been changed into a wimpy slut. How? The biggest sign is her sleeping with Draco Malfoy on the first day. She gave in immediately to him, which she would never do, and she would never, ever, EVER date a Slytherin of her own free choice. Maybe if she had to sleep with him in order to save Ron's life, but even that is unlikely. Hermione would not adopt a "punk attitude" or start failing classes; she hold's her schooling above almost everything else, except her close friends Ron and Harry. Also, Hermione isn't going to fall in love with someone just because they are "hot". The connections must be much deeper than that. You notice, that Hermione would never have had sex with Lockhart even though she obviously thought he was handsome.  
  
**HERMIONE'S APPEARENCE**  
  
She's always gotten "curves in all the right places". And a most of the time, she's also lost the frizz in her hair; it has turned into "soft curls". I know that you want her to be hotter, so Draco would fall in love with her, but I don't think her DNA would change to give her a prefect body or give her hair soft curls.  
  
**DRACO MALFOY'S OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS**  
  
Once again, Draco Malfoy is a gallant Gryffindor, coming to save the day. At this point, you may consider the Sorting Hat broken. Draco wouldn't touch Hermione, not to mention she is one of Harry Potter's best friends, a muggle born, and a Gryffindor. But let's forget about that at the moment. Draco Malfoy has a long history of hating her. How can you break through that? The best way that I can see is for Hermione to save Draco Malfoy's life, or the two being locked in a dungeon of Voldemort's, and being forced to live together, where they are on equal circumstances. The romance would be very slow to start with so much to work through.  
  
**DRACO MALFOY'S LOOKS**  
  
Now, we always think to ourselves, "If we could make him a little more handsome, then Hermione would fall for him on the spot like I did." He is leaner and more muscular, your dream guy. I think that all of that sitting around, having others do work for you, would make you a tad broad about the middle wouldn't it? Draco has hardly ever done any work for himself besides schoolwork. Draco is not Tom Felton, and doesn't have his body.  
  
**PLOT MISTAKES**  
  
Now really, what would Malfoy do if he "walked in" on Hermione? He wouldn't kiss her, that's for certain. He might pretend to barf, or actually barf, running in the opposite direction.  
  
Something else that needs to be thrown away: Hermione's parents being killed because Malfoy has gotten too close to Hermione. Really now, does Malfoy send letters to every one saying, "I'm in love with the enemy! Here is her name, her parents name, their home address, their birth dates and their favorite colors! Aren't I a stud?" It is probable that Hermione's parents could be killed, but she wouldn't cry on Malfoy's shoulder. He doesn't have a shoulder for anyone to cry on. Also, Hermione and Draco would be killed and Draco's father forever disgraced if Draco and Hermione started having a relationship.  
  
Draco would not fall in love with Hermione just because she is "hot". Even if he did he would probably never acknowledge it. He doesn't admit to feelings he has very easily, and he hardly sees Hermione as a human.  
  
Hermione would not fall in love with him on first sight. Love and romance take a long time to happen. Being infatuated happens in seconds and normally doesn't last very long. In a few years you will be laughing at the silly pre-teen self that drew little hearts all over her picture of some famous star.  
  
One of the biggest mistakes that are made is that they are given their own private quarters. Of course you want them to have complete privacy to do what ever they want, but there is no secret Head Boy and Girl common room; the head boy and girl go to the same common rooms that they have been in since they were sorted. They may have private bedrooms, but not a private common room.  
  
Malfoy would not give up being a deatheater for her. Remember that Malfoy almost sees it his job to get a good education just so he can be a Deatheater. This feeling has been installed in his brain ever sense he was a toddler, and won't go away easily. Also, Malfoy won't bend to the girls every whim and break his rules to fit HER; she would have to bend her rules to fit HIM. That's just how he is.  
  
Draco's father does not beat him.  
  
**THE FRIENDS**  
  
Ugh! Harry, Ron, Crabbe, and Goyle have been transformed into uncaring monsters. In fact, they are demonetized. Harry and Ron are kind and supportive; they would back Hermione any day. Crabbe and Goyle may be stupid, but they also try their best to be helpful to Malfoy. Malfoy has gotten used to them, and he's not about to throw away their support or protection.  
  
**AUTHOR NOTES**  
  
Now we see the terrible little thing at the beginning, where the author is "talking" to the characters before the chapter starts. This is one of the most annoying habits that I have ever come across while reading fan fiction. If the only part of your chapters worth reading is the page long chat episodes with the characters in the chapter, you should be re-thinking your writing. Also, it's better just to leave out the author notes in the first place.  
  
**THE GREAT ART OF THANKING REVIEWERS**  
  
Let's say you have cleansed your story of clichés, and suddenly you have 15 more reviewers on your story! Wow! Now you must thank them all in your next chapter, with little notes to each! STOP! You are about to add another page onto your story. A page where absolutely nothing that has to do with your story is occurring; an awful lot of junk to scroll through to get to the review button.  
  
The best way to thank your reviewers, if you must do it, is to list them at the end of a chapter and send them each a special e-mail. You will be publicly thanking them, which is the allure of thanking them in the chapter anyways, and you will be privately thanking them too. You may earn some long lasting friendships doing this, and it is the most effective way of letting your reviewers know that you care about them. 


	5. Grossly Gaunt Ginny

I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise, I would be drinking a margarita instead for typing in the cold. That's pathetic you know. 

RPL Stands for Repeated Plot Line

This section includes a sample of Grossly Gaunt Ginny.

het weasle & da dragon by GDShipRsRox

Summery: im no god at sumeries so deal w/it. Gin gin & Hairy arent workin out so gin gin meets draci in the hall cold it bee luv? Review or il h8 u 4evr

Rated PG13(butt wil clime l8r)

1st I wanna say hi 2 my freind drakieluvr, luv da slithirin, dacoroxsmysox, tomsluvmee, feltunsgurl, & minedragon69. if u flame u suc & I h8 u 4ever OMG Tom Folten is sooooooo hottie that I rote this sorie cause hes hot! His all MINE!!!11 dicamer: discamers suc. So their. Flamers suc 2 so shutup. Gin gin and dracie r my cuple & if u have a prob w/that bich shutup & sont reed it!."

I luv tomm foltun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Evil authoress: hay Gin! Im gonna rit a storie with u in it!

Gin: why? Do u have 2? Im snogging with drakie rit now

Drakky:yeah can it wait?

Evil authoress: u get to snogg lots in my storie so get in there now

Gin woak up and looked into the mirror. "OMG i look so bad!" she cried. The mirror looked back at her & said "nonsense u r the beautifulist."(AN:I've changed ginny! She has 2 b super hot so My luv Drakie can fall in luv w/her on 1st smack!1) Ginny had 2 agree. She had grown up during th summer. She had the prefect curves 2 make any guy die 4 her. Her scarelet coppery crimpsom waves of hair flowed down her back like a river of rubbies. Her emerald green eyes had a bit of purple & yellow in them gin gin noticed as she glansed at herself in the mirror.she was every guys dream. She put on a green shirt that said bight me and the mirror said every guy will want 2. Ginny pulled on a baggy pair of black jeans and put on her make-up nice & gothic. She walked in2 the common & stubbed her toe Harry laughed & he had a girl in his lap so she shouted "ur done for!!!11 i break up with you!go away!" & she ran down the hall crying. And she ran in2 draco "whatch were ur going she shouted the realized hoo she ran in2.then she started 2 madly kiss draco(AN:that HOTTTTTIEEE!1111 if i met him that's what i wood do!1))she had been dieing 2 kiss him & snog him ever sense they met in potions class. Anyway thay where kissing & a owl ran in2 him &it had a letter "2 drac don't date gin gin AN I hat Gin's nam!!!!!!!!!!!

MyoopsGin gin's Drakie luvr pov

ginnies really good at this! draco thought and started 2 kiss harder. Pansy kissed him a lot 2 butt she was boring. then ron came around the bend saw her & shouted malfoy get away from my sister!(AN:Ron's a pushy jerk-off i hate him)& he tried 2 kill-curse him but gin gin grabbed her wand and cursed ron so he couldn't kill my HER drakie. Ron shouted at ginny"ill h8 4ever & ever!" & draco said "Shut up!" cuz ginny started 2 crie. Then they kissed & slipped 2 the astronomy tower 2 have aquiet place 2 snog they snogged all night draco had whip marks from his dady & the next morning dracie got a letter from his dad:

u dishonor us i will kill the mudblood luvr

so my HER hottie dracoo cursed his dad 2 love the weasleys 4ever. He caught the snitch to show up harrie. & gin refused harry to go to the ball and went with draco & Then had a snog fest with gin gin & the married and had lots of kids & lived happy ever after!! & Ron(that $$ hole was jellose & left in the dust 4ever! & hairy was real sad 2.

I'm a genious the best I hate u 4ever if u don't lik what I rot don't review. Review good bad whatever I don kar just review u wimps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111

Back by request: Translation (I title the translation, "For No Reason Utterly Boring".) 

_The Weasel and the Dragon_ written by: Someone Who Likes to Read Romances Involving Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy

Summary: I cannot write a good summary, so I want you to ignore the summary, but read my story anyways. Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter are not having a good romantic relationship, so Ginny Weasley meets Draco Malfoy in a random hallway. For an unknown reason meeting each other in the hall suggests a romantic relationship. Review my story or I will be so emotionally unstable, I will start to hate everyone who doesn't leave a review, including everyone that doesn't have a computer and could never leave a review.

Rated PG13 (rating will climb later in the story, so now I have an excuse for giving an incorrect rating.)

Before I start the story I would like to greet all of my friends. My friends are "A person infatuated with Draco Malfoy", "You love the Slytherin", "A person infatuated with Draco Malfoy", "A person infatuated with Tom Felton", "A person infatuated with Tom Felton but cannot spell his name correctly", and "A person infatuated with Draco Malfoy's name". Please take note that you are not one of my friends.

If you give me a remotely negative review I will believe that you aren't a good person, and I will hate you no matter how childish it makes me look. I religiously believe that Tom Felton is the most sexually attractive boy alive, even though I cannot spell his name correctly, and I wrote this "story" to add to his worshipping shrine. I would like to possess Tom Felton.

Disclaimer: I don't like to write disclaimers, no matter how legally important they are. I still do not want to read any input that could remotely called negative; therefore you must not review, even though I will hate you forever if you don't review.

The Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy romance is mine, and if that troubles you, do not read or review my story, even though I will hate you for it.

I still am infatuated with Tom Felton and I still cannot spell his name correctly, and I feel the need to tell you this right now.

The evil adolescent female author says, "May I have your attention please Ginny Weasley? I am writing a story in which you take part!"

Ginny replies, "Why must I be a part of your story? I am busy snogging Draco Malfoy at this moment."

Draco Malfoy adds, "Yes, can your story wait?"

The evil adolescent female author replies, "You will be snogging on many occasions in my story. Please be a part of my story now.

Ginny Weasley woke up one morning and looked into the mirror. "Oh no! I appear hideous!" she wailed. The mirror looked back at her and said, "Nonsense! I believe you are irrationally beautiful." (Author's Note: I have changed Ginny Weasley's appearance! She must be very attractive or else Draco Malfoy, the character I am infatuated with, will not fall in love with her when they run into each other in the hallway, for we all know that love is based only on appearance.) By a twist of fate, Ginny was forced to agree. She had grown up during the summer. Her body had swelled in certain areas that we all know men worship, and for no real reason they would die for. She had red hair that reminds me that I am a teraphile. Ginny's green, purple, and yellow eyes also remind me of my rock fetish. All of this Ginny saw when she looked in the mirror. She was suddenly a sex god.

Ginny clothed herself in a green shirt with "bite me", which gave cause for the mirror to respond, "All men will desire you and love you because you have a sexually attractive body." Then Ginny pulled on a baggy pair of black jeans, and smeared heavy eye make-up in a muggle gothic style.

Ginny walked into the Gryffindor common room and stubbed her toe. Harry Potter laughed at her. Ginny then noticed that another girl was sitting on his lap, so Ginny Weasley shouted, "I hate you! I no longer want to be romantically involved with you! Go away!" So she started to run away, crying. Somehow she was running down the hall, and she ran into Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley said at the same time, "Please watch where you are going." Then Ginny realized who she had run into. Struck by his sexually desirable body she knew she loved him and therefore started to kiss him. (Author's Note: I am infatuated with Draco Malfoy. If I were to run into my archenemy in the hall I would start to make out with him.) Ginny Weasley had desired to kiss and snog Draco Malfoy ever since they met in potions class. Anyways, they were kissing and a few minutes later an owl ran into Draco Malfoy. The owl had a letter, which read:

"To: Draco Malfoy

Please do not date Ginny Weasley. (Author Note: I dislike Ginny Weasley's name and feel the need to tell you this now.)"

I am confused between Ginny Weasley and myself, but now I am switching the story into Draco Malfoy's point of view

_Ginny Weasley is good at kissing_, Draco Malfoy thought and continued to kiss Ginny Wealsey back. In the past, Pansy kissed him also, however she was boring for no reason. As he thought this, Ronald Weasley came around a corner in the hallway and saw what his sister and his arch enemy were doing. He shouted, "Malfoy go away from my sister!" (Author's Note: I dislike Ronald Weasley for no reason, and feel the need to tell you now.) Ronald Weasley tried to curse Draco Malfoy, but Ginny Weasley pulled out her wand and cursed Ronald Weasley so he couldn't hurt my lust object, I mean, Ginny Weasley's Draco Malfoy. Ronald Wealsey shouted at Ginny Wealsey, "I will hate you forever!"

Draco Malfoy replied, "Shut up!" because Ginny Weasley had started to cry for no reason. Then they kissed again and went to the infamous Astronomy Tower, even though students would be up there studying the stars, so they would have a quiet place to have sex, which they did all night, and the author isn't quite sure what sex is but heard that people in love do it. While they had sex, scars from whip lashings that Draco's suddenly evil father had given Draco appeared on Draco's back.

The next morning they woke up and found that Draco Malfoy had gotten a letter from his father. The letter read:

"You have dishonored the Malfoy family, so I must kill your mudblood lover."

So my lust object, I mean, Ginny Weasley's Draco Malfoy cursed his father so he would love the Weasley family forever, and for no reason it worked, and such a curse existed.

Draco Malfoy caught the snitch to make Harry Potter look bad.

Ginny Weasley refused to go to a non-existent ball with Harry Potter and went with Draco Malfoy.

Over the years Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy held sex festivals, and they married. They had many children and lived happily ever after.

However, Ronald Weasley (Author's Note: I still hate Ronald Weasley for no reason, and still feel the need to tell you this now.) was jealous and left unhappy forever. Harry Potter had the same fate.

Author's Note: I believe I am a genius even though I cannot spell "genius" correctly. I believe that I am the best writer ever, and if you do not share my beliefs I will irrationally hate you. If you do not like my story, do not review my story, even though I will hate you forever. I accept all reviews because I only write to be reviewed! (Translator's Note: That was really repetitive and annoying, and I will irrationally hate you forever if you do not share my opinion!)

MARY SUE MORPHING: The Grossly Gaunt Ginny RPL 

If you can read and understand what was written in the sample above, then I envy you. Even self-respecting Ginny can be turned into a horrible Mary Sue. It's a growing fashion, to change Ginny into a disgusting sex-god monster that leaps onto Draco in a lust filled rave. Draco leaps onto Ginny like a lust filled monster. People just don't run into their worst enemy in the hall and start to make out! This RPL is the hardest to fix, and in most cases, you should just abandon the story.

GINNY'S OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS 

Most often, Ginny's displayed as a sexy kiss ass punk ready to take on the world. Though we saw in the fifth book that Ginny has some spunk to her, we can see that she would never sink so low as too "go out" with Draco. Let's analyze Ginny now.

Ginny is self-conscious, very self-conscious. She idolizes her elder brothers, and since fifth year her stiff "Prefect Percy" brother isn't there and in disgrace. She no longer feels the need to follow his footsteps, when The Twins are so much cooler. It now is okay to rebel, so she is following the crowd in the fifth book. So, she doesn't have true spunk, she is rebelling to be accepted and noticed by her so-cool older brother's and their awesome friends.

Now, let's think over the growing up process. Do the vast majority of scrawny; freckled girls get turned into sex goddesses over night? No. It would be nice if we could, but we don't. It's what we all wish for, but unrealistic. Is it likely that Ginny would become one? No. So tame your make-up slathered, halter-top wearing, sailor-cussing brat down. Don't describe her appearance very much or at all. Leave out the details about her hair, make-up (which she probably wouldn't wear in the first place), eyes (Ginny's eyes are brown, not green), and clothes (Ginny would be wearing robes in school) out.

One thing I hate but continuously see is, Ginny cussing worse than a sailor. The Weasleys are proud that they are good people and try to act as if they are in a higher class than they are. That means that they do not cuss. Ron doesn't cuss. Ginny certainly doesn't.

Another point I'd like to make, but I didn't show in the sample, is that Ginny probably wouldn't keep a diary. She's had bad problems in the past with one, so her experience with Tom Riddle probably has weaned Ginny of ever wanting to keep a diary. So, no "I looked at Draco, and he saw me. He's so hot!" diary entries.

DRACO'S OUT OF CHARACTER-NESS 

Draco, once again, is a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff in these stories. I'm tired of explaining this. He is not super-handsome. He is not going to denounce his father, who he loves and warships. This should be obvious after book five, and all the other books: "Wait tell I tell my father!" "Wait till my father hears about this!"

Draco certainly isn't a sex god of the Slytherin house. He isn't very handsome, not matter how good Tom Felton looks. Rather, he's pale and on the plump side. He doesn't jump around dating circles because that would be a disgrace to his father's name. To date, he hasn't changed his girlfriend since 2nd year.

PLOT 

It's what we all dream of: a hot guy bumping into you and falling in love with you on the spot. But is it realistic? Well, no. But what do 99 of Ginny/Draco parings have in them? People walking into each other in the hallways; then making out on the spot. If this really worked, hookers would be millionaires, because they could just bump into someone, and before you know it they're snogging where they fell, and guess what mister- that would be $70 a smooch, $80 a lick… You get the point?

It may have been out of pity, but Ginny and Neville still seem to like each other. Ginny seems to be trying to get Neville jealous or something to that nature in the fifth book, and Neville did his best to protect her in the end of the fifth book, but let's not get into a shipper's argument. Don't let the Romance element of the story to push all plot out the window. After reading this I hope that you will try to have some plot besides: They kissed! They kissed again! Draco is now taking off his cloths!

THE FRIENDS 

Here, the friends are either disregarded totally, or are demented. It should be obvious that Ginny no longer is crushing over Harry; it showed in the forth book when she dated Neville. The point is, that the story always seems to focus so much on Draco and Ginny's exciting love life that it pushes everyone else out of the picture. There are other people important to Ginny and Draco in Hogwarts, they wouldn't disregard them totally.

POOR PANSY 

I know that everyone is jealous because Pansy is the respected girlfriend of Draco. So, she must be an evil, slutty, clingy brat. And, what is Ginny when you add her? -An evil, slutty, clingy brat. Let Pansy have some respect; she does not lie all over Draco making inappropriate advances on him. Do not turn her into what she is not. Pansy isn't exactly nice, but she would never put herself to such a low class to be a slut. You can fix it by finding a way to discredit her in Draco's and his father's eyes. Her family falls bankrupt, someone in her family betrays Voldemort; these are only a few possibilities. Use your imagination!

ADDED SAD PASTS 

"Sad Pasts" are prevalent through all bad Mary Sues. Suddenly Ginny is abused by her brothers, and Draco's loving father rapes him nightly. Really, we know that they have relatively happy home lives, if not dull or noisy. Don't add a sad past, people fall in love all the time without sad pasts. You don't need them.

SPELLING SHORT CUTS 

"Net speek" is incredibly annoying. It's okay to use in a chat room, but not in a story, because the rest of the world has a lot of trouble understanding it. So, just write words out.

NUTTY NICKNAMES 

Gin-Gin. I hate that. Gin is alcohol, not a person's name! Leave the name at Ginny; it doesn't need to be simplified any more. And "Drackie"? Typing out Draco takes less space! The nicknames aren't cute or funny; they are just corny and stupid.

FORMATTING AND SPACING 

As you can see, the spacing of the sample is terrible. There is no spaces where there needs to be and too many when they're there. You've made a smart choice, saving your story as a web page. When you upload it on to , the spaces that you have a doubled, so you can single space. If your spacing got messed up, just redo it and use the Replace Chapter feature. That feature is very useful, and you cannot abuse it!

A new problem that has come to surface with the new uploading system is that all asterisk symbols are deleted. There is no way to keep them in the text. Also, " " turn into random other characters as well. There is a wonderful new feature in your Document Manager. It is a wonderful place to do some last minute editing and brushing up. It is called Quick Edit. Use it! You cannot abuse it!

NO DISCLAIMER 

In the least, a disclaimer is polite. You're respecting the fact that you don't own the copyrights to Harry Potter. Plus, it makes your fan fiction legal. I've been seeing a growing trend of people "forgetting" their disclaimers. People, it even says in the Guidelines of that you need to have a disclaimer! It could be removed if it doesn't have a disclaimer!

AUTHOR NOTES 

Author notes are annoying. I would rather read a story than an author note. Ask anyone; we'd rather read the story than see you saying "Hi!" to all your friends.

"TALKING" TO THE CHARACTERS 

It just ruins the reality of the story. It is not cute or funny; just delete it! If the only highlight of your story is the little script of you talking to the characters, then your story isn't worth reading.

WATCHING OTHERS GET CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM 

Let's say that your best friend posted a story, and that story just got a two page long review full of constructive criticism. What probably first goes through your head is "How dare that stranger ATTACK me friend? Don't they realize that my friend is such a wonderful person?" So, you storm of to slander the criticism and flame the critic to your best abilities. Please stop. You are sabotaging your friend's potential! The steps to reacting responsibly when your friend gets criticized are very much the same as when you get criticized. Here's what to do:

Take a break to calm down. Go do something else you enjoy for a while that has nothing to do with your friend or the story. Relax. Realize that this stranger doesn't know your wonderful friend. Realize that this stranger is trying to help your friend. Read the review carefully to see if there is any useful information that you could use. Help your friend use the information in the review to improve his or her story. 

I have been in this position, and I understand what it feels like. I too slandered the critic. Then, I came to the other side, and after spending hours writing advice in reviews and seeing the writer's friends slander it, I realized how much I had been damaging my friend's potential as a writer. I would like it if no one else made the same mistake. Believe me, you will regret it, and your friend will regret it too. When you send all of your hope in the mail to a publisher and get that cold, hard rejection slip, you realize for a first time many of these mistakes. I would like to make it a little easier on all of you.


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